A Bowl of Wisdom: From Someone 10 Years Older than Me

OVER KAN ZHU BOWL OF NOODLES

After church yesterday, my friends and I decided to have lunch at Kan Zhu in San Juan.  I got to try their chewy hand pulled noodles with sweet and spicy eggplant and minced pork toppings.  Yum!

Seated in front of me was a sister who, I realized then and there, is exactly 10 years older than me.  We have the same birth dates.  And so, as a curious younger lady, I asked her for wisdom. I'm sure the whole 10 years that she's gone ahead of me is filled with life lessons, unexpected experiences, plenty of ups and downs, and many adventures that God had planned for her.

"I wanted to learn everything already!"undeniably impatient, I told her,  "I don't mind missing out on painful experiences that bring about major life lessons.  Can I just learn them from you?"

(I'm not sure if you've felt the same way.. that you want to finish the journey in the wilderness as soon as possible.. that you want the chastening to be done faster.. that lessons may already be presented on a platter, and that you may hear God's Word speak to you already, because the circumstances are just too hopeless and agonizing.)

This gentle, yet stern, sister told me one word, "Independence."

"Independence from God?"  I asked sheepishly.

She nodded.  I had wanted to learn things badly so that I could go on life my way free from chastening, with the handy-dandy bag of lessons.

"Okay.. (Change question) what has changed? What's the difference between the 26 year old you and the 36 year old you?"


TEN YEARS OF WISDOM AND TEN YEARS OF CHASTENING

"Nothing much has changed on the outward," she said, "I was in my family business when I was 26.  And now, I'm still in the same family business. I don't have much big achievements or milestones.   Perhaps, the change is not on the outward, but more of internally... in the building of my character."

As years roll by, she has found herself to be more patient, loving and gentle towards people.  She has become a more joyful person.

How has God built her character?

This godly lady had wanted to settle down when she was 24.  But it seemed unlikely to happen.  She waited, and waited, and waited.. until she was 33.  Then it dawned on her that the idea of having a partner had become an idol for it was the source of joy and security in her life.  She repented and let go of that idol. And soon, she has not only become a contented, but  a grateful, woman of faith.

Then, I remembered a verse I recently read from Acts 17:26-28:

"and he determined the times set out for them and the exact places where they should live. God did this so that they would seek him and perhaps reach out for him and find him, though he is not far from any one of us. For in him we live and move and have our being."

What a great encouragement to know that God has marked the time and place where I should be, and even for what I should undergo and learn.  Knowing all things ahead would make me NOT seek Him, NOT reach out for Him and NOT find Him.  It would simply make me, well, independent.

This verse has shown me one powerful attribute of God, that I can make an effort to remember, when I'm in the panic or impatient mode again.

By the way, this 36 year-old sister-in-Christ of mine, knows the verse by heart.



CAREER VS. CHARACTER


What I was expecting to gain from our conversation was more of 10 years of life lessons or tips that would make it easier for me to move on to the next chapter of my life or to where she is now.  But I guess, God doesn't simply care in how fast I learn and how many milestones I've achieved.  God cares more for my character and how I handle my current circumstances.  And He wants my character to be like Jesus.  Gosh, it will indeed take continuous chastening and purifying to make me like Him (if only there were shortcuts. :P) I guess, just as the example my sister has shown, it's her character that has changed over the span of 10 years, and not her career. 





AGE AND WISDOM


She told me it's also not simply the age that will give you significant wisdom.  Although, age may bring about great wisdom, the quality and quantity of time spent with the Lord may also contribute largely to it.  "I've only known the Lord for 8 years (since she was 28 years old); and it's good that you, you've known the Lord way younger.  You might gain even more wisdom when you reach my age."

She continued, "Be patient; and be grateful for every little thing that comes your way."

I guess she was telling me to take my time.  Rather than rushing to the next scene or adventure, I should take my time to enjoy the moment.  God has brought me here.  How can I be grateful for today when my mind is of things tomorrow?  How can I be joyful when all I've been wanting to do is to move? Having my current perspective, I might not be able to keep good ol' memories and wisdom and share them to someone 10 years younger than me.

A Bowl of Wisdom: Being a Sanguine

I've complained to God a lot about whom He has made me to be. My weaknesses, well, they're too plenty to count. There's my gold-fish memory; I'm just uber forgetful. There's my inability to see through a plan.. my being disorganized (or differently organized sometimes), and also my un-persevering attitude. I really find it difficult to accept this Mitzi whom God has created. I wanted to have a different temperament. There were times I coveted my friends' temperaments. I wanted to be more goal-oriented like the choleric, more analytical like the melancholic and more organized like the phlegmatic. There was nothing I liked about my sanguinity. I thought I had the least of all temperaments.

Where was I again? Oh yeah, ranting. Anyway, I'll end it before I bore you to death. Have you ever felt like you are a worthless-somebody-with-no-strengths? Like you couldn't succeed in whatever you do because of your character failure? Like God has made you with some lose screws? And like all your friends have better and more promising character traits?

Once again, truth be told, you and I are not alone. I've met friends of different temperaments who are just as discontented with their personality make-up. My melancholic friend hates herself for thinking too much before going to sleep. My choleric friend has unknowingly caused some bruises in relationships. My phlegmatic friend, well, he just couldn't say "no" to people.

I'm writing this entry because recently, God has just been making me smile. He's teaching me, "Mitzi, embrace who you are. That's how I've made you to be." How? One way is God has been sending different people to confirm that my sanguinity can be a blessing. And I'm sharing this with you because you too should start to embrace who you are.

I've always been someone full of crazy ideas. I draw them in my idea notebook, sketch them on a sketch pad, play with them in my head, or just create them out of something like a shampoo bottle. What I used to see as a waste of time and energy is in fact a blessing that can be used for good. Recently, God has given me an opportunity and an outlet to use it. I just felt that when he was pointing me back to my sketchpad and pencil, that I had tucked away in years, He was leading me back to my first love. (God's indeed faithful and loving to give me my heart's desires during time of seeking.)

The "happy" disposition that I have, I also did not know could be a blessing. I thought it was just me being childlike and naive. Later I learned that the smile that I have has eased the pain of some people hurting around me. I never thought that something as small as a genuine smile could help comfort some wounds.

I'm still learning to embrace who I am, for this is part of growing in, of learning and of living God's purpose. Embrace who you are dear readers. Praise God for the strengths He has blessed you with and confess all the weaknesses you have been hiding within. Your anger, your bitterness, your fear, your doubts. These are all consequences of sin. Depend on His grace to cover you and sanctify you to a better, more Christ-like, you.

It's time to celebrate you, the person God has called you to be. You and I are called not to be a loser or a failure or a worry-wart or a mediocre. Embrace who you are and become more joyful and peaceful and thankful. Embrace who you are and let God bring out your fullest potential.

God bless! :)

A Bowl of Wisdom: From a Worrywart

There's no place that's safe anymore. When you walk outside, you risk the possibility of getting stabbed and robbed, or kidnapped and raped. When you're in a car, someone may stealthily get in the back seat, point a gun at your nape and force you to drive to the nearest ATM machine. He could get all the money you've saved up for years plus the car. Now you are probably thinking, "I'd spend more time at home then."

Well, guess what? Even your home is not as safe anymore.

A few days ago, something unthought of happened in a quiet neighborhood. When a maid was about to close the gate after the owner of the house had left for work, a hand suddenly crept in. It was from a man, in his forties, who was holding a gun. He forced himself in their house together with three other gunned men. They tied the son of the owner, TJ* (the only family member at home) and their maids up in the dining hall. These men punched the young 20-ish man all around. They asked him where their money, jewelry and other fortunes were kept. They sliced the locked cabinets open, tore the foam mattresses apart, unplugged all their electronics. When he heard them saying, "Abangan natin iyong pamilya niya." ("Let's wait for his family to arrive"), TJ was able to muster up the courage to run out to the backyard, climb a wall and land in the neighbor's house. The gang soon left with a great number of their belongings. TJ also got his share of souvenirs: purple bruises, a small cut in the stomach, a painful lump in the head, and a fractured arm.

I heard the whole story from TJ's mother yesterday. It gave me a quite a shock, a big doze of worries.. and a terrible nightmare this morning. I dreamt that there were some men in hats and bonets climbing up the wall, entering through our glass windows. Eek! This reminds me of Solomon's realization in Ecclesiastes 6:

I have seen another evil under the sun, and it weighs heavily on mankind: God gives some people wealth, possessions and honor, so that they lack nothing their hearts desire, but God does not grant them the ability to enjoy them, and strangers enjoy them instead. This is meaningless, a grievous evil.

We may opt to keep our properties in very safe places (i.e. banks) just to save them from those who do not seem to deserve them. As we make them untouchable to the robbers, we unknowingly make them untouchable to us as well. How could we enjoy the cars that have always been parked in the house, or the jewelries that have always been locked in the safe? Evil indeed! Of course, there are instances of thieves breaking in houses and banks. Another evil!

How should we avoid such evil sight? I found much wisdom in what my professor had shared in class a few years back. (I think this is the only thing I can remember from his class.) The reason why the poor steals is because the rich doesn't give enough to maintain equity in society. Sometimes the solution to security from crime is not to gain wealth and hire more protection, but to share God's blessings and eliminate criminal motivation. Hasn't feeding, helping or giving to the poor been stressed enough in the Bible?

Isn't Jesus asking for the same? Here's an excerpt from Matthew 19:20-21:

“All these I have kept,” the young man said. “What do I still lack?”

Jesus answered, “If you want to be perfect, go, sell your possessions and give to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven. Then come, follow me."

The safest place is not to be behind walls or vaults, but to follow the Lord. Let me end here with one of my favorite quotations by Corrie Ten Boom: "There are no 'if's' in God's world. And no places that are safer than other places. The center of His will is our only safety - let us pray that we may always know it!"

*Name has been disguised for security reasons.

A Bowl of Wisdom: 4-pcs. Siomai

While mom and I were on our way to the grocery, we passed by a number of colorful food stalls. I'm not much of a siomai eater, but at that particular time, my stomach (or perhaps my tongue) was craving for a bitable meat drenched in sweet and spicy sauce. So there I was lining up in front of this 2x2 meter kiosk, named Siomai House, that was selling 4pcs. pork and shrimp Siomai for Php25.

I poked a piece with a toothpick, and took a bite. Surprisingly, there were no irritating tendon-like bits or yucky big fat unchewable pork. The pork and shrimp Siomai was soft and tasty and it blended perfectly with the chili with crispy garlic bits sauce. This reminded me of the Siomai I had tasted some years back when I was still in college and had not been exposed yet to "the real world."

Let me rewind back to the good ol' days when I was still wearing my bell bottom jeans and rubber shoes. I was hanging out with my group of friends, the ego-boosters, at ZZ canteen for lunch. A friend bought a foot-long hotdog in a bun, other friends opted for rice meals, while I was in the mood for Siomai. The Siomai then was a bit smaller and paler. The skin was quite dry and flaky. But I didn't mind. I sat with my group of friends, and took a bite. As my teeth cut through the meat, I stumbled upon an odd pea-sized bit that was difficult to chew. With the help of water, I swallowed it in a gulp.

Despite the odd siomai, I laughed heartily and joined the chorus. We were young with high hopes and big dreams. We were thirsty for new experiences and new lessons. Young and naive as we were, we were filled with joy and excitement, hopes and dreams.

Now, with a better tasting Siomai laid in front of me and a few bowls of wisdom saved in my wisdom bank, I can't help but wonder, where has the young cheery Mitzi gone? Isn't it odd that the older we get, the less joyful we become? Is this part of growing up?

Perhaps growing up does not necessarily lead to an evergreen life. As I devoured each of the four Siomai, I unearthed some great lessons the child within can teach us about life:

1. Hakuna Matata

When I was younger, I could survive without worrying. And this is one of God's commands that I have mastered less and less, as I grow older. I could laugh and play and let my cares be carried off by the wind then. But now, I worry for the upcoming deadlines and financial pressures among others. I do not think it is necessary to worry when our responsibilities increase. It's a waste of energy. The Lion King's Hakuna Matata principle is something you and I have to learn from our younger counterparts.

Some questions we can ask ourselves are: Why worry when God loves us more than the birds that He feeds and the lilies that He clothes? Why worry when the God who has given us life through Jesus Christ, can sustain us through and through? Why worry when He has called us for a reason? Why worry when we can get nothing out of the very act of worrying? Why worry and ignore God's faithfulness in our lives?

The solution is remembering... Remembering His word and remembering His faithfulness in our past.

2. High Hopes

I remember being a girl with big dreams. Great visions colored my mind. However, entering and moving about in the real world isn't as easy as I thought it would be. It was filled with discouraging competitions and disappointing pursuits. Later on, I realize that we can retain high hopes, if and only if, we are participating in God's bigger plan. When we are on His side.

Despite our imperfections, we can have high hopes that God can use us mightily for the glory of His name. We can dream big for the advancement of His Kingdom, since this is God's same desire. Our extraordinary God can work wonders through an ordinary weakling like you and me. On the other hand, if we live our lives outside this purpose, perhaps for our selfish gains, then know by now that God will pop those 'high hopes' bubbles for us sooner or later.

3. Naive Faith

When I had my first job, I remember telling my superior, "If any problem arises, we should pray about it. God could work if we just believe in Him." My boss found it childlike and told me to just do my job well. As we grow older, we tend to depend on our own strength in fulfilling our duties.

The childlike faith is pure and straightforward. When God says He can move mountains, when God says He can make the lame walk, children can believe the word wholeheartedly; while adults will have to evaluate His word based on scientific facts and other empirical data. Our rational 'adult' mind simply cannot comprehend an extraordinary, out-of-the-box, God -- the God of Moses who has parted the red sea; and the God who can move mountains when we just call on to Him in faith.

Let us remember that God is the One who created science. He can work over and above it. Let us go back to this childlike 'naive' faith, and become bolder in living for God. Let us not be content with the certain, comfortable tried and tested ways that completely rob us of experiencing God and the joys that come along with it.

4. Blank Slate

My MA professor debriefed us in our last meeting, "It is best to enter my class in a blank slate -- when you know that you do not know. It is only in this way are you willing and ready to learn." As we grow older, we tend to pride ourselves with the knowledge and the wisdom that we have gained over the years. We think that we know everything there is (that we need) to know.

Many of us who may have read the Bible from cover to cover, or have listened to various preachings, have stopped reading the Bible because we think we know what it has to say. We hinder ourselves from learning and being changed for the better. We shy away from new experiences that would provide rich life lessons. Are we just proud? Or are we too much of a coward to admit that we do not know everything? Let us open our minds in wonder like a child.

As I closed the memories of my younger years, I swallowed the last portion of my tasty Siomai. I threw away the paper plate with the remaining chili sauce and toothpicks... and kept to myself the wisdom from this bitable snack.

A Bowl of Wisdom: As a Doggy-Sitter

I can still feel his nails on my arms, his husky hair on my cheek and his soft warm skin resting like a pillow on my lap. It had been a long yet interesting day of baby, I mean, doggie-sitting. For those who’ve dogs at home, this may not be something new to you. Perhaps, you’ll just be reading how one sees a dog through the eyes of a naïve girl.

The first time I laid my eyes on Shiloh was nine days ago. He was so small, so fragile. He was carried like a little stuffed teddy bear by Ona, my auntie’s kasambahay, to our house. At first I thought Shiloh was part of his (pertaining to Ona) clothing; Shiloh was very little, about six inches, and he was covered with a checkered cloth t-shirt that hung loosely on him. When I said hi to Ona, it took me around ten seconds to realize that there was another living thing on his body. It was a delightful surprise! I can’t express in words how cute he is. May the picture below speak a thousand words of cuteness.

So today I became a dog-sitter (not used to typing this new coined word. I had to delete ‘baby’ before I typed the word ‘dog’). My first hesitation of taking care of a dog was that he might pee on me. Soon I learned that like humans, dogs cry before they feel like excreting waste. Shiloh cried for so long. It was only when I placed him on the floor that I knew why. Praise God! That solved my hesitation number 1. My hesitation number two was that he might excrete waste on his bed, which is a little taxing to wash and dry and all. I just discovered awhile ago that similar to humans, little dogs like Shiloh do not want to place their waste just about any where.

I placed Shiloh in his made-up bed. The borders of this bed were a little bit high so it was difficult for a baby boy like him to jump out. I left him sleeping there while I was having lunch. I asked our kasambahay to check how he was doing. She told me that he pooped. Oh my, not in the bed! I thought. Our maid reassured me that he did it on the floor. I went to him and saw him sleeping in the bed. Then I asked, “Fay, did you place Shiloh in the bed again?” She said, “No.” He went out of bed to poop and back to bed to sleep all on his own.. at the age of 1 month and 10 days. Hesitation number 2 solved!

As a doggy-sitter, I had to carry him when he cried, place him under the electric fan when he cried, dance him around when he cried, let him walk when he cried, put him to bed when he cried, let him discharge waste when he cried. I realized he was such high maintenance dog! Believe it or not, I had to wrestle with him just so he could drink 14 teaspoons of milk per meal. Moreover, this must be done either in an airconditioned room or with an electric fan focused on him. Gee!

I also got a taste of being a new mom. Moms carry their baby around while they do ordinary work, right? Ergo, the baby carrier. In my case, I had to carry Shiloh and make him sleep while writing on this laptop, after which I left him on the table in front of me and othertimes in the bed beside me. I had to divide my attention between my work and him. While cooking, I had to divide my attention on my pasta and his crying. It took plenty of multi-tasking skills. I guess this is probably why most women are wired by God to have the multi-tasking ability.

When I met Shiloh’s mom, I was like a child in gradeschool learning about animals. I was amazed at the practical and aesthetic aspects of God’s creation. Check out this logic: since dogs usually bear and deliver a larger number of babies than humans at one period of conception, dogs would need more breasts to nurse the little babies. I discovered that afternoon that female dogs have 10 milking breasts. This gives every puppy opportunity to be nourished.

While Shiloh was in my arms, I was thinking, how do dogs fit-in in the eco-system anyway? Why did God even create them? They do not belong in the wilderness, nor do they fly in the air or swim under the sea. Most often than not, I see them in houses of people. Sometimes locked in cages, sometimes wandering in a bedroom. Then I realized, God may have created them for a beautiful unique purpose... to be the first to greet us when we get home, to follow us joyfully with its tail wiggling wherever we go, to make us feel needed, to listen when no one is around. Perhaps, God may have created dogs for us to have a loyal friend.

This is Shiloh with my handy-dandy pencil case. They are just about the same size!

A Bowl of Wisdom: A Grieving Son

I got to meet my college bestbud today. Let's name him umm, Randy (he doesn't want to be named). We were accidental friends in college. He did not have much friends, neither did I especially during my 2nd year; and on our first meeting, when we learned that were in fact neighbors, we became instant carpool mates.

I've known him to be a worrywart. He's very panicky. He stutters a lot. And you know sometimes when he has a problem, rather than sympathizing with him, I would find myself laughing a bit, seeing him panicking with his eyes opening so widely. Stuttering is one of his weaknesses, but it was put to good use when he got caught once for violating the number coding system. His normal speaking voice seemed to the police like there was really an emergency.

Anyway, my friend here was very close to his mom. He explicitly admitted that he was her mom's favorite. I remember during the ego-booster club's (our barkada's name) Christmas parties, his mom would be the one to arrange the tables and chairs on the balcony. She would entertain all of Randy's friends. She knew each of us by name, and she treated us, her son's friends, as her own dear friends. She never failed to entertain us and made us feel at home, and to our guy friends, she freely let them sleep over at their house. This went on for six years, from 2004 to 2009; but when 2010 came, things changed.

Auntie Sandra (original name also replaced), Randy's mom suddenly felt some unusually painful back pains on May 2010. At first the doctor thought it was an ordinary sickness, so she underwent an operation. But even after the operation, she still felt the intense back pain. Later on they found out that it was due to a severe cancer. Although they had the means to pay for every little bit of hope -chemo, radiation, etc. - anything the doctor suggested, none was able to save her. She passed away four months later.

My friend seemed to be coping very well today when I got to meet him and my other friend for dinner. He was able to smile and he didn't look depressed or anything close to it. And so I asked him, "Randy, what made you not angry with God when you learned about your Mom's sickness?"

I was very surprised with what he said. He answered, "Mitzi, remember 'Our Father who art in heaven, hollowed be thy name. Your Kingdom come, Your will be done.' It's His will Mitzi and not my will. He has a plan for each and everyone of us and I trust that His plan for my mom is perfect. I prayed to God before that if He would cure my mom's sickness, that would be great. But, if He would take my mom, then I'd let Him."

"My relatives thought that I would go crazy, or I would kill myself, because the one I loved the most had been taken away from me. Many people tell me, 'You know Randy, I really don't know what to do if that were to happen to me, I think I'd just lock myself in my room for weeks. I can't live without my mom.' But you know, I'm very thankful that God is here to guide me and tell me what to do. You know Mitzi, I feel the peace. It's like, no matter what happens around me, I am joyful inside."

"I'm also very thankful that my mom passed away when I already have a relationship with God. Because without Him, I really don't know what to do. You know Mitzi, this incident also changed my perspective in life. Before, my focus was to take Masters abroad, make business and earn big bucks. But now, things have changed. I just want to seek God and do His will." Indeed he didn't react to the problem like how the egobooster's club and his closest relatives expected he would. He reacted more gracefully than I probably would if that were to happen to me.

I'm writing this part of his life testimony to show to the world that it is possible to have God's unfathomable peace and undeniable joy in our lives, even if He takes away the one most dear to us.

Thank you Randy for allowing me to share bits and pieces of your life on this blog.

God bless you!

A Bowl of Wisdom: As a Sales Woman

It was my first time today to become a sales woman, the one you'd see walking from door to door, greeting potential customers and offering a product. I was trying to sell a very ordinary product - noodles - in the busy streets of Divisoria with my Auntie. Not that I got a new job or anything like that, I simply wanted to try being a front liner. This was partly to help my grandmother in her small business, partly to enlighten me with details for my Strategic Management class paper, and partly to know how is it to treat customer - a customer.

I'd never gotten a chance to sell to people, apart from family and close friends who were kind enough to buy my banana cakes and crema de fruita. And so I was quite worried before the day began. I remembered how the sales reps in movies were treated. People would usually close the door on their face. They would avoid these persistent vacuum cleaner, makeup or furniture sellers at all costs. That's probably why there is such a sales concept called "foot in the door." Before a potential customer locks you out the door, put your foot in and ask a very simple question. You may build up the conversation from there.

Anyway, just to let you know, nobody closed their doors on us. (Whew!:D) Most of the people we visited were old clients who stopped ordering from us. We entered one of the stores. It was selling various processed foods (i.e. canned goods, evaporated milk, vinegar, soy sauce, etc.). We smiled at them. We introduced ourselves. There were no smiles from the owners still. We told them we were from 5 star. Then they smiled and eagerly told us, "Oh I remember your grandpa! He would sit here and talk with us before. It has been so long since then!" Then, my aunt and I asked how business is going. They shared with us many of the ups and downs and even told us why they stopped ordering. Most of the businesses in the area were not doing well. After some time, they even shared with us pictures of their grand children and great grand children.

I learned a number of things during my sales visits today.

First, selling is a humbling experience. Whenever I entered a new store, I had to smile and greet them even if they had not proved yet to be deserving. We had to excuse ourselves and say sorry for the time that was taken off them. I realized, if we only consider everyone we meet as customer (not the "king" who has everything, but one who has needs that we can help address) we will be able to consider others better or more important than ourselves, and therefore, learn humility.

Second, in order to influence, a relationship must be built; in order for a relationship to be built, start listening. Most of the people that bought noodles were those that had known my grandpa for twenty or more years. They had built sturdy relationship of trust from the many weeks and months and years and decades of sharing and listening. I got a taste of that when we asked "how is business going?" They went on and on telling us about the new market trends, new competitors and even some problems that they were facing. There seemed to be a shift from seeing us as sellers to partners or even as friends. This is also true in real life. In order to influence people (to buy, to believe or to do), we have to listen to them and let them know that we care.

Third, customers do not need products, they need benefits. By listening to them, we will be able to understand what is the real benefit they're looking for. The customers (retailers) awhile ago, did not buy noodles for the sake of having products for display, they bought them so that they may earn a living by selling them to customers at a mark-up price. But since some were not able to sell at a good price or some customers had transfered to different outlets already, then the product held no more benefit. And when they saw no benefit, they did not order any more.

One of my professors advised us that we should treat everyone as a customer. This includes the security guard in our offices/school, our neighbors, our maids, janitors, people selling squid balls on the streets, etc. The world will become a better place when there is humility.

Let me take this opportunity to challenge you to TREAT EVERYONE AS A CUSTOMER as well. There's no harm in smiling at someone, greeting her good morning, and asking her how she is. Time starts... now.

God bless you!:)

A Bowl of Wisdom for the Family

If you happen to tune in to 89.9 a few years ago, you probably know him. This guy is the warm and soothing voice behind Love Notes. Joe D'Mango started off as a regular disc jockey at 19, with no background in radio whatsoever. He was a simple computer science student, who with much courage, joined a dj search. Fortunately, he won first place! From then, he worked as a dj for 13 years and later on managed three different stations. When I asked him, "How did Love Notes start?" He said with a smile, "I just suggested the new concept to my boss and he agreed to give it a try. Little did we know that it was there to stay."

You may be curious as to how I met him. No, I didn't work as a radio dj like him. No, I didn't pitch in a song. And definitely no, I didn't try calling the station to request for a song. He is (believe it or not) now an interior designer! I went with my mom one time to consult him. Just by seeing the spark in his eyes for the project, he indeed has a passion for innovation. He enjoys working with challenging spaces and turning them into beautiful works of art. He loves designing; that's why this is where he is now.

I was very curious at how he was able to achieve anything that his eyes aimed at successfully. He answered me, "All I can say is that I'm really blessed." Indeed, God has been good to him. He has been given a fulfilling career, one that is neither too stressful nor hectic. Unlike other designers that enjoy hoarding as many clients as possible and earning as much fees as possible, he is the type that does one project at a time. He customizes every set-up and makes every house and every condo unit unique and worthy of a "wow." He handpaints the walls, leaves his own artwork or two. I realized that he is blessed possibly because he is not driven by profit. He is simply pursuing the passion that God has embedded in his heart.

One time, my mom and I went to check out the interior in his house. It was mostly white with bold streaks of lines, minimalist in style, with cozy shades of browns. Many of the details were finalized with creativity and wit. One example is they placed some secret doors, one leading to his very own version of dexter's laboratory (where he keeps his techie robotic stuff), another one to keep their household tools, and still another one to keep the family's medical supplies.

The first room I stepped into was that of his daughter Anj. The walls inside were also painted white; one of the walls showcased five colorful guitars hanging side by side. "She loves music and she sings," Joe smiled like a proud father. And so I asked for a sample and she smiled shyly, held one of her guitars and said "I'm a little bit sick, but okay, I'll try."

Her father played a cd she had recorded while we were walking through the sala to the dining area. "One of the songs there is an OST of a movie that entered the Metro Manila Film Festival," Joe shared. Cool! I thought. Later I learned that she had never taken any voice lessons. Although she enjoys music, she doesn't plan to do it full-time. Instead, Anj took a one year course in ISCAHM and now works in the kitchen of a very prominent hotel. I wondered how her parents allowed her to take a one year course, because as far as I know, most parents would have their children enroll in the usual 4-year bachelor's degree which has a safer back-up plan. She replied with no hesitation, "my parents are very supportive." True! Her mom and dad encouraged their daughter to "go and try singing", "go and try recording", "go and submit your songs", and even confirmed her gift, "you are good in it! Keep it up!"

I also got to talk to Bing, Joe's wife, that afternoon. Bing told me that their family (Joe, Bing & 4 daughers) is very closed with each other. Their daughters would open up freely, they would gladly talk about their boyfriends, about their plans, their joys and their pains. They would talk about anything and everything under the sun. The secret is she tells her daughters that she and Joe are always open to hear them out. If they are unhappy towards something Joe or Bing did, they are open to hear the girls out with no bitter feelings. By listening to the girls, and getting to know them one by one, the girls have learned to enjoy each other's company and developed a healthy esteem. Believe it or not, it is possible to have 0 sibling rivalry in a family of 6!

As I walked into their indoor garden where their big fat persian cat had hidden, I realized that this is the type of family that many of us can emulate when we become parents. They try to make the communication lines open as much as possible. For them, the lack or missed communication can cause unnecessary strife and hard feelings. That's why they make an effort to listen to their children. They put value in each and every individual in the family. It can already be seen in the design of their house. For example, the original work station of Joe was replaced with an in-house TV theatre because the girls had suggested it. It's not that they are spoiled. Joe just realized more people in the family would be able to enjoy the new room. The parents see their children as important and included their voice in the important decision makings. (The new theatre room has become the family bonding room.)

They also help discover and develop the God-given gifts that rest in each child. They appear to be the most excited motivators for the girls. Joe, for example, shared Anj' songs to his friends in the radio station. Bing allowed the eldest to have a whole make-up set and table with lights in her room. I don't think all budding make-up artists have that in their rooms.

I realized, if and when I become a mother myself, I'd want to help develop my children's gifts as well. Gifts are God-given and they play a big role in fulfilling God's purpose in their lives. Who am I to ignore their gifts and push them to do whatever I want? Lord willingly, I would be able to mold my children based on who the Lord has purposed them to be, and of course, in a fun and fulfilling way. I want them to become like Joe, who is able to pursue his passion victoriously for the Lord's glory.

This is a photo taken in their dining area. Behind us is the indoor garden.

L-R: Joe D'Mango, Anj, Me, Bing

A Bowl of Wisdom 3: 88 year-old Mrs. Ng

It was a beautiful Sunday morning when my auntie and I entered a cozy chapel to witness a baby girl’s christening. We along with a number of little children, teens and godparents eagerly bopped our way to God’s little gift wrapped in a white floral dress and a Minnie mouse hat. She was a beauty. A few minutes later, an old lady, medium built in size with her short grey hair cleanly combed, came by alone. She walked with grace and held her posture high and confident. She came to our direction and greeted the baby’s parents. My auntie and the baby’s mom called her “ma’am.” She is Mrs. Ng, their 88 year-old manager in the bank.


Unlike other elder Chinese people, she is independent. She didn't rely on anyone to carry her arms as she walked from the car to the door, from the door to the baby, from the baby to a chair, from a chair to the door and then back to the car. She didn’t mind not having the special treatment that is usually given to the “angkongs” and “amahs.” She was quite different from them actually. She could speak very well in Chinese, in English and in Filipino. And as I talked to her, I realized she was learned. I got a lot of tips from her.

She told me how so many Chinese families spend as much as millions for their weddings, and yet the guests leave the place disgruntled. These families “ayaw nila magpatalo”. They tell the guests to arrive at the reception by 7pm, entertain them with colorful programs and then start serving dinner only by 9pm. Sometimes, she said, the simpler the better, less is more.

Then I asked her about her health. She’s already 88 and she’s still working in a bank. Mind you, her job is not ordinary or routinary or just something for her to pass time. She is a manager handling at least 50 people. She has a big responsibility resting on her back. I asked her why she doesn’t opt to retire and enjoy life. She said she is preventing her brain and physique from deteriorating. She wants to live normally. Once the lifestyle is changed, sicknesses will come and attack her. I commended at how young she looked. She told me one of the secrets is to “Keep your posture straight.” This indeed made her look two decades younger. Then my aunt interjected, “Do you know what she eats everyday?” Mrs. Ng laughed and said “Fruits, I eat four kinds of fruits everyday. Most of them are the popular tropical fruits like papaya, bananas, pineapple, melon.” And she told me, “Never, never skip your breakfast. Even if it’s just a slice of fruit or oatmeal, take it.” Probably we should follow her advice, we don’t want to learn it the hard way, do we?

Just another trivia: Do you know that she had an older brother who at 92 still played badminton?

She also shared about her family. They were mostly scholars who graduated from ADMU and were sent abroad. Two of her sons were accepted in P&G as brand managers. It was the first time in the history of P&G that two siblings worked together in one department. Her grand children were mostly doctors. Some stayed in New York, some in Europe, some in Singapore. I told her, “WOW!” Without an ounce of boasting, she told me “They’re God’s gifts,” and emphasized again, “God’s gifts.”

Earlier in her life, when she was 29, she enrolled her daughter and son in Maryknoll (I think it’s a school in Manila) and after a couple of days her husband died from a heart attack. Ever since then she had to support her four children on her own. Good thing there was a policy in the bank where her husband worked that stated if one of the employees were to die and he was the head of the household, a family member could join the company as a teller. Mrs. Ng took this opportunity but it was still not enough to cover all expenses. She looked for another job and worked for at least 2 jobs in a period of 20 years.

How did she train her kids? I wondered. She asked them to aspire for excellence (or was it perfection?). If they had gotten low grades in school, she would tell them “Do not think that you are stupid, because you are not. It just means you didn’t try hard enough.” She molded and honed them for excellence. I wanted to ask how else, but time was short and she was about to leave. I told her I’d walk her to the car. She said I didn’t have to. But I still decided to join her. It was my simple way of thanking her for the nuggets of wisdom she imparted. I now understand what people mean when they say “grey hair is the splendor of the old” (Prov. 20:29b).

A Wisdom from My Yellow Leather Bag

My yellow leather bag has all my comfort goods inside: a wallet, a cell phone, a camera, a sketchpad, a set of door keys and an umbrella. They are the things I can't leave home without. But just a couple of days ago, I accidentally "lost" the bag. Usually, I could trace my steps back to know if I really misplaced it or if I was robbed. But this time, I knew I brought it to the car and I intentionally left it in the car when mom and I passed by a grocery. Although I don't normally leave my bag in the car, I decided to do so since my dad would be waiting for us there anyway. We went back to the car, picked up my cousin along the way, and then I discovered my bag was missing.

Goodbye cash and cards, goodbye license and IDs, goodbye camera. Goodbye comfort zone. I felt like I was stripped off of something, again. I felt like someone was using wax to peel off my unnecessary hair, one strip after the other. Before I could even learn to endure the agonizing pricking and feel the great liberation of letting go, here come the next painful strip.. pulling more hair from the core of their roots. The mess in the renovation, the death, the loss, and other environmental woes were eating up my strength.

What's in my bag anyway? Money and items (exchanged with money) that can be earned and regained, lost and destroyed. It was like an impounding lesson that the world is fleeting and we cannot hold on to things (and even people) as much as we want to. No matter how tight we clench them with our fists, they are bound to leave. This could probably be why Jesus said "Man doesn't live on bread alone, but on every word of God." They are not able to bring peace and joy to our being, love to our hearts and life to our soul.

Then I asked, how can I earn a living by simply reading Your word? I realized that there's something more important than seeking what people want through marketing research and pleasing these people with innovative products, or writing what they simply want to hear and caring for their comments. There's one very essential thing that I am guilty of forgetting.

As an invention, what I ought to do depends on my Inventor. It is primarily between me and Him. It is not the market that will set my path straight. Nor is it the comments of readers that will dictate my auteur mark.

I should fear the Lord more than I fear men.
I should trust the Lord more than I trust men.
So, it is now between just You and me, Lord. Just You and me.

My bag was found the next day in my cousin's place.

A Bowl of Wisdom 2: A Singaporean Lady

Dressed in my usual fashion wear, a pair of jeans and a turtle necked top, I went out for dinner with my parents in a fancy place last night. We were invited by a lady consultant who come once or twice a year from Singapore. I brought a book with me in case their discussions would bore me. As we waited for her, my mom and I traversed on the carpeted floor of the hotel lobby. We looked at the ornaments and the intricate details carved on the different furniture plotted strategically in the hallway. Then, I saw a lady with a secured posture walking towards us. She was wearing a crisp black and white tailored business dress, carrying a red leather handbag and walking on what seemed like a pair of black Nine West pumps.

This lady named Angela led us to a cozy room in a Japanese Restaurant. I forgot the name. Inside was a ceiling-high painting of a geisha on a glass wall, and a table for four. On the table were adorable Japanese plates and cups lined on gold trays. The evening started with a rush of updates and news. They discussed what they had to discuss and I read the book I brought with me. After reading a few lines, I couldn't help but listen to her. This lady who could merely be in her late twenties or early thirties was very well-versed in politics, business, and in global matters. "Wow, man!" I thought.

The topic became lighter when the first course of the meal was served. She recommended some good restaurants in Singapore while we enjoyed a bowl of vegetable salad with mayonnaise coating and crunchy sliced chips. Mom told her she liked Japanese and Korean restaurants the best. And she recommended the best Jap restaurant she has ever tasted in Taiwan (name I've also forgotten). Then out of the blue, like a eureka moment her eyes sparkled, she shared a story that happened in Taiwan.

A guy friend of hers was diagnosed with a severe case of testicular cancer. He was just 21 then and single. He trusted in the Lord, and according to Angela, he lifted everything to the Lord. I guess the Lord still has great plans for him. During her recent visit to Taiwan, the guy who once had cancer in one of his reproductive organs was able to get married and have a baby.

It was interesting to see how she intertwined praises for the Lord and stories of faith with news clippings and financial updates. She was not afraid to get blank stares or a mocking laughter. She was working. And yet she was also ministering. I admire her for using her work to bless her clients. I guess in meetings like these she is implicitly trying to tell her clients, "Hey, seek for something purer and rarer than gold."

For some people, the only "calling" in this world would entail you to become a full-time pastor or a full-pledged missionary. If you're not called, then you are probably not a very "spiritual" person. I hope that you will crack this icy myth down to pieces. Not all of us may be a pastor, but all of us are called to be priests and prophets. All of us must be ready to proclaim God's Word wherever and whenever. God may call you to become a consultant like Angela, a businessman, a bank clerk, a teacher, a writer or a wedding planner. He has already placed you in a mission field. Don't wait for your pastor to go to you, plow your field and plant the seeds. You are placed there for a reason. Be the salt and light in your field.

A Bowl of Business Wisdom

Yesterday, I got to meet a blessing in the shape of a lady named Ate Melinda* ("Ate" means older sister in Filipino). She is a tanned woman in plain polo blouse and jeans who doesn't wear make-up and frilly accessories. Who would have known that this simple lady with a signature smile and gregarious laughter is currently a successful businesswoman with 3 growing businesses in her hands. Let me tell you her story.

Ate Melinda came from a humbling background. She grew up in the province and studied in a public school. After college, she worked as a sales agent selling Puma shoes to retailers in Visayas and Mindanao. In the next two decades, she traveled here and there to distribute some shoes and slippers. Today, she has become the leading distributor of Planet footwear and many other products in the Vismin area.

She told me about a dream she had before. She was swimming in the Dead Sea, at the border of Jordan where she had never been to in real life. The sea was surprisingly alive. Its current took her from place to place. When she woke up, she realized that the water signified God's blessings. If she goes with the flow, God would continually let the blessings flow through her. But if she keeps it to herself, it would become like the dead sea, dead in its basin. She then realized that her businesses are not really for her own gain. They are gifts from God that have to be shared to other people.

It was one of the stories in her bowl of wisdom she shared to me over dinner. In between series of laughter, she handed me more spoonfuls of her experiences that led to where she is today.

1. Every new day is a blessing. Be a blessing everyday.
I wonder how she sees each day as her last. But she does. Every time she wakes up, she thanks God for the new day ("Wow! I'm still alive!" she exclaims with eyes wide open, almost popping out) and prays that she will be a good witness to friends, acquaintances and even strangers throughout the day.

Just recently, she went to a shoe store that didn't carry her brand. She brought some tourists with her. While her friends were looking around, she decided to talk to a sales lady. It was almost evening when they went in, she asked the sales lady, "How's sales so far?" The girl replied, "Not so good. No sales yet." Oh my, it's already late and still got no sales? Ate Melinda thought. When she saw a customer trying out a pair, she told her, "That really looks good on you!" ("well it really looked good on her" she told me as she continued on with the story). The girl bought two pairs after.

2. Pray for your business everyday.
When she went to a special gathering with various owners of clothing apparel, footwear and big-time malls, she was asked, "What's your trade secret? Planet has become the top-selling slippers in the area!" Without thinking twice, she said, "I just pray for them when I visit the stores." ("pina-pray over ko sila kapag nasa store ako" in verbatim). She didn't think it was her or her boss's competency to be praised. It was solely through God's grace.

This is also what the group of friends who incorporated the famous clothing line, Penshoppe, is doing. They pray together (or even when apart) with their employees every eight in the morning.

3. Value every relationship.
She does not see her business as just business. For her, every meeting she goes to is an opportunity to know people and build relationships. She tries to be the ray of sunshine that exudes joy in the meeting room. That's why, I think it's easy for people to buy her products. She almost always leaves a smile on people's faces, be it after a long or short, a personal or professional, talk.

Probably unlike other business owners who merely establish relationships with other owners, what she does is she talks to the purchasers, and even down to the sales ladies. They are all important to her. The owners may be the ones ordering the products, but the purchasers know the trends of the market more, while the sales ladies are the front liners that can can move the products directly to the end consumers.

4. Be humble and available to help.
One time, a shoemaker friend of hers asked for a favor, "Mel, can you please introduce me to the big retailers in Vismin? I hope to sell my shoes there." She said, "Okay, first, make a company name." The guy responded, "Okay, okay, what about Saint Michaels?" When they got to set a meeting with the retailers, she took the position of an agent (rather than a business owner) and told them "I would like you to meet a boss, the president and CEO of Saint Michaels company." I found it interesting that she was willing to put herself down to push others up. It's the exact opposite of the crab mentality that we often see here in the country.

In another time, a different supplier friend confided to her, "Mel, it's so difficult to get in this big mall. What shall I do?" She showed her friend's products to the mall owner and they got in. She did it not expecting anything in return. After a few months, the friend called her up thanking her because sales was huge. In return, he gave her a surprise cash gift.

5. No matter how small or large your work is, work excellently and faithfully.
God will enlarge it bit by bit.

6. God's grace covers you.
Work may be required as God's punishment for Adam's sin. But work can also be a gift that brings joy, that is if we follow the passion God has embedded in our hearts and if we use God's gifts to bless others. This may not only be in financial means, it may be through teaching, writing, encouraging, speaking, painting, singing. If we have God's grace, most often than not, God has planned for all the details already. We'd be surprised to see that tasks are easier because uncontrollable details have already fallen into place.

7. No matter how much you have, only Jesus can sustain you.
When a friend asked her to help him expand his cooking business, her first question was, "Do you have Jesus Christ in your life?" Jesus was the one who gave her the purpose, the contentment and the joy in what she's doing. People without Jesus will tend to aspire for more and more, this is the bondage of greed. There's no happiness. In her case, she can even testify that God has "thrown open the floodgates of heaven and poured out so much blessing that she does not have room enough for it."

I pray that you and I may also become a walking blessing. Let's make His river flow to all corners and cracks of the earth!


*Name replaced.