A Bowl of Wisdom: A Grieving Son

I got to meet my college bestbud today. Let's name him umm, Randy (he doesn't want to be named). We were accidental friends in college. He did not have much friends, neither did I especially during my 2nd year; and on our first meeting, when we learned that were in fact neighbors, we became instant carpool mates.

I've known him to be a worrywart. He's very panicky. He stutters a lot. And you know sometimes when he has a problem, rather than sympathizing with him, I would find myself laughing a bit, seeing him panicking with his eyes opening so widely. Stuttering is one of his weaknesses, but it was put to good use when he got caught once for violating the number coding system. His normal speaking voice seemed to the police like there was really an emergency.

Anyway, my friend here was very close to his mom. He explicitly admitted that he was her mom's favorite. I remember during the ego-booster club's (our barkada's name) Christmas parties, his mom would be the one to arrange the tables and chairs on the balcony. She would entertain all of Randy's friends. She knew each of us by name, and she treated us, her son's friends, as her own dear friends. She never failed to entertain us and made us feel at home, and to our guy friends, she freely let them sleep over at their house. This went on for six years, from 2004 to 2009; but when 2010 came, things changed.

Auntie Sandra (original name also replaced), Randy's mom suddenly felt some unusually painful back pains on May 2010. At first the doctor thought it was an ordinary sickness, so she underwent an operation. But even after the operation, she still felt the intense back pain. Later on they found out that it was due to a severe cancer. Although they had the means to pay for every little bit of hope -chemo, radiation, etc. - anything the doctor suggested, none was able to save her. She passed away four months later.

My friend seemed to be coping very well today when I got to meet him and my other friend for dinner. He was able to smile and he didn't look depressed or anything close to it. And so I asked him, "Randy, what made you not angry with God when you learned about your Mom's sickness?"

I was very surprised with what he said. He answered, "Mitzi, remember 'Our Father who art in heaven, hollowed be thy name. Your Kingdom come, Your will be done.' It's His will Mitzi and not my will. He has a plan for each and everyone of us and I trust that His plan for my mom is perfect. I prayed to God before that if He would cure my mom's sickness, that would be great. But, if He would take my mom, then I'd let Him."

"My relatives thought that I would go crazy, or I would kill myself, because the one I loved the most had been taken away from me. Many people tell me, 'You know Randy, I really don't know what to do if that were to happen to me, I think I'd just lock myself in my room for weeks. I can't live without my mom.' But you know, I'm very thankful that God is here to guide me and tell me what to do. You know Mitzi, I feel the peace. It's like, no matter what happens around me, I am joyful inside."

"I'm also very thankful that my mom passed away when I already have a relationship with God. Because without Him, I really don't know what to do. You know Mitzi, this incident also changed my perspective in life. Before, my focus was to take Masters abroad, make business and earn big bucks. But now, things have changed. I just want to seek God and do His will." Indeed he didn't react to the problem like how the egobooster's club and his closest relatives expected he would. He reacted more gracefully than I probably would if that were to happen to me.

I'm writing this part of his life testimony to show to the world that it is possible to have God's unfathomable peace and undeniable joy in our lives, even if He takes away the one most dear to us.

Thank you Randy for allowing me to share bits and pieces of your life on this blog.

God bless you!