Being in prison, I couldn't get out and work like my fellow batchmates. I sat pretty and observed how my friends go by and pass through life's important milestones. This made my time of waiting even more torturous.. especially to a restless busybody girl like me. I've mentioned in my previous blogs that I love to do something with my hands. I love to get busy. I enjoy the stress. I even thought that sleeping was a waste of time.
On my first prison year, I tried all sorts of things (baking, cooking, card making, gardening, etc) but all had seemed to be meaningless. I couldn't see the purpose or the meaning behind them, that's why after a few months of being engrossed in an activity, I stop. On the second year, I asked God to use me, to teach me something new and make me a blessing to at least one person everyday. Ergo, I started this blog.
I had never been a writer. With my low grades in English, I did not dare write anything for anyone (except if it was a school requirement or a birthday card). I have just started writing (faithfully) this year and through it I discover that it is God's gift to me. I am greatly amazed when God grants me wisdom and insights, and uses my hands in ways more than what I have asked or imagined. I just write what God wants me to write, say what God wants me to say, and the results are overwhelming. Sometimes, the least people I expect to read, would come to me and tell me how they are blessed by an entry. I would be reminded then that God is the one speaking, the one moving, the one pulling people to click the link to this site, and I am but a weak vessel being used by Him. What an honor it is!
Being a branch connected to the vine (Jesus Christ), the blessings you receive from the vine must flow outwardly to the other branches you are connected with. God's gifts are meant to be given or shared to others. If you keep it to yourself or use if for your own personal gain, then God may deem it to be useless. You should use the gifts for His purpose! Ergo, I am writing these learnings for you!
Remember the parable of the talents? The master rewarded the first two servants who had multiplied the talents given to them and he punished the third servant who had simply hidden his talent in a hole under the ground. I'm not sure if you are as lazy as this third guy. Or if you are swamped with work that you don't have time to utilize it. Or you are just too afraid to use it, you see too much risks and the unending costs. Know your priority. Better pray about it. Not only is it a waste if you don't acknowledge your gifts, but you might also be punished for not using them wisely.
I'm not sure if you are in a waiting stage or in a tiring marathon where you see no finish line. It is about time that you seek God first. He is the one who has a great, pleasing and perfect plan for you. So before you make any plan for yourself, ask Him first. Remember, He was the one who made you -- and called you -- for a reason. Moreover, since He created you in His image, He has also set eternity in your hearts. Nothing can fill this "eternity" hole until you know Christ who alone can satiate it.