Not Your Typical Bride

Dear Friends,

One month has passed since David and I exchanged our vows, and I think it is time for me to write about what happened.   How did a girl-who-never-imagined-herself-getting-married become a girl-who-actually-got-married in a span of less than one year?

No, it was not arranged marriage. And no, I definitely did not get pregnant. 

Earlier this year, I attended a women’s conference and one of my girlfriends asked when I would be getting married.  You see, I have been with David for the past eight years of my life.  And this friend of mine, echoed the question I had been asked a lot of times.  As usual, my answer was, “No, I still cannot imagine myself getting married.  There’s still so much I want to do.”

Then normally, there were the follow-up questions, “Do you love David?”  “Do you see being with him in the future?”  “Why don’t you want to get married?  So many women want to get married.”  I would reply, “Yes I do love him.  I cannot imagine myself with someone else, but it’s just that I’ve never pictured marriage in my dreams.  I never even daydreamed of getting married, or having children.  I don’t even have a dream wedding.”  Some of my friends and relatives would look at me in a weird way after that.

PROPOSAL 1

My birthday came a few weeks later on April 2.  I had to work in the morning.  We had lunch by 1:30PM.  We were supposed to have dinner in the late afternoon at a fine dining restaurant on top of a building facing the sunset on the bay.  But I was too full from lunch, and I was craving for Starbucks.  So the fine dining plan got cancelled.  When we got to Starbucks, he was a bit more serious than his normal serious self. 

I had a gut feel that David wanted to propose.  I asked, “Are you trying to propose to me today?”  He was surprised, and did not deny it.  “Please, no,” I said.  “I am not yet ready to get married.”  He smiled and replied, “It’s okay, I will think of more ways to propose to you.  I will propose to you again and again even if it will take a hundred of times.” 

I felt quite sad; I knew something was wrong with me for not wanting to get married.  David is a great guy.  He is a God-fearing man.  He is loving & self-sacrificing, even my friends were amazed at his perseverance with me.  We love each other.  I just couldn’t pinpoint what the main problem was.

THE TURNING POINT

Less than a week later, David’s grandfather passed away.  There’s this certain Chinese tradition that states when a relative dies, you either get married within 100 days or after two years.  I prayed to God if it was His will for us to get married.

PRAYER (1).            For God to reveal to me why I don’t want to get married and help me be ready if it were His will.

PRAYER (2).            If it was in God’s will for me to get married within 100 days, these things would transpire:

PRAYER (2A)    My parents would prefer I get married within 100 days.

PRAYER (2B)    Allow most of my relatives and friends from abroad to come and attend my wedding.

PRAYER (2C)   Wedding preparations will be very smooth, like the pieces of the puzzle will fall into place and fit perfectly.  Weddings in the Philippines are planned years in advance, so to get married in three months would mean most suppliers have already been booked.  

In the next days, upon much reflection, God answered my prayers:

ANSWER TO PRAYER (1)   God revealed that I didn’t want to get married because of FEAR and SELFISHNESS

a. Fear of letting someone else enter permanently into my life, and I couldn’t get him out anymore.  I’ve read in books and watched in movies about certain relationships entering a vicious cycle of nagging and spattering, of being disrespectful and unloving, and I just wanted out of it. 

b. Fear that I might just ruin both our lives because I don’t know how to be a wife and a mother.  All my life, I have been busy with school, work, business and extracurricular activities.  I don’t have time, passion and skills to cook, clean, do laundry, organize home, beautify home, or do anything else in the house. 

C. My selfishness caused me to want to live for myself, and for my dreams.  I didn’t want to be slowed down by another person.   I didn’t want to share or give my life to another.

I realize getting married is a step of faith for me.  While praying, a verse popped into my head that says, anything that is done or not done outside of faith is sin (what was holding me back was fear and not faith).  I also realize that getting married would also teach and train me to be less selfish, to share, and to live for others.  And I guess, this is a good thing.

PROPOSAL 2

Ten days after the death of his grandfather, we had candle-lit dinner in a restaurant in Quezon City.  I was not prepared.  I was in my oversized shirt, jeggings and rubber shoes.  Other people there were in gowns and dresses.  I ate heartily.  When dessert came, there were words written in chocolate icing on the plate.  It read, “Shall we go on an adventure?” 

“Are you proposing to me again?” I asked with the brows closed together.  “I want us to go on an adventure together.. forever.” David answered.  I cried, not out of tears of joy.  "Fine," I said.  My tears welled up because I had to say goodbye to my single life. 

ANSWER TO PRAYER (2A) When I told my parents about David’s proposal the next day, they smiled and told me he already proposed to them beforehand .   Apparently, David scheduled a lunch date with my parents when I was out of the country a month before.  And they encouraged me to get married within 100 days.

ANSWER TO PRAYER (2B) Many of my relatives from USA, Canada, Singapore, and Taiwan would be able to come over.  Some had already made plans to come within the year even without the wedding.

ANSWER TO PRAYER (2C) We got to book my beautiful home church and a historical hotel for our wedding!  The Manila Hotel was established in 1912, the same year as Titanic sailed for the first time.  We also were able to get hold of the finest suppliers in the country as our events coordinator, wedding host, musicians, florists, videographer, photographer, events stylist, makeup artist, etc.   Our family and friends have also been extremely helpful in making the wedding beautiful and memorable!

Within three months, we were able to have prenup photo, prenup video, a beautifully designed church & venue, our wedding vows, and one fine day to remember for the rest of our lives.  Everything just fit perfectly together.  And I wasn’t stressed in the planning and during the wedding day itself!

MY FAVORITE AGE IS 30

For the past 2 decades, I had always been looking forward to the time I reach 30 years old.  It is, for me, a phenomenal age -- the age when Jesus began his ministry, when David became king of Israel, and when Joseph began to serve Pharaoh in Egypt.  I was always curious with what I’d be doing when I turn 30. 

This year I turned 30, and unexpectedly, I got married.  (Good thing it is to the love of my life).   Getting married, I guess, is part of God’s wonderful plan for me.  And I believe He has a purpose for me and for our marriage. 

Now that I’m married, I realize it’s not so bad after all.  Everyday has been a mini adventure.  We get to navigate through an unknown rugged path, discover interesting life lessons, and build up new skill sets along the way.  (Oh, if you only hear about how I learned to cook a cup of rice.  That's reserved for another post.)  

This is my story.

Yours truly,

Not your typical bride

P.S.  For the chapter one of our love story, read it here.

P.P.S.  If you would like to get a glimpse of our wedding, feel free to click the links below:

• Prenup Photo Slideshow: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=59KrOtVZ2B4
• Prenup Video:  https://vimeo.com/175010429
• Same Day Edit Video:  https://vimeo.com/175028865
• Special Music Video & Message: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qH9ZMiAr1qs

From the Desert to the Valley: Even in the Season of Failure, Praise God!

Close Encounters…

If I would remember correctly, I've had some close encounters with failure.  My earliest would be getting, I think, a couple of red marks in nursery.  (I'm not sure though. I was just three then.)  My second was in grade 6.  I was really slow at typewriting.  My fingers would often slip through the keys of an ancient typewriter and I had to struggle to get each of them out.  I was "pasang-awa".  I was also terrible at Chemistry.  I didn't know what the subject was for, and so I would use the whole hour to draw, to fold papers, and to hope that I wouldn't be called for recitation.  But graciously, I passed.  

When I was in college, there was a time I was busy chitchatting with my seatmate that I had failed to hear what our professor was teaching for the following week's law exam.  Apart from these, I don't remember failing much anymore.  

In terms of love life, I had never tried.  Thanks to God and my parents for keeping me safe from this kind of failure.

Girl with a Big Mouth

I remember my prayer to God earlier this year.  I told God, “Lord, feel free to bring me through times of failures so that I may succeed.  I cannot never fail.  Through these failures, make me grow closer to You all the more.”  

Season of Failure

And I guess, prayer answered.

Recently, years after I graduated college, I feel like God is leading me through a season of failure. I could sing the phrase, "from the desert to the valley" straight from the heart.  The desert is the waiting stage, while the valley is the failure stage.  I was in waiting stage when I started the blog.

Let me share with you how I define the season of failure.  The failure is not the subject, or the person, but the moment of time when circumstances being faced by the person “lack success.”  You may have other terms.  It may be a “season of difficulty,” “a valley,” or “a trial.”

My season of failure is comprised of being turned down by companies that I’ve presented to, I’ve auditioned and applied for.  Take note of its plurality.  Week after week, I would receive, a “No.”  Most of the time, I did not know for what reasons.  I cannot put into words the gravity the “No’s” had on me.  Sadness is an understatement. 

Whispers of Encouragements

God has worked wonders in my life through this valley.  In the midst of the loud discouragements I can see and hear all day long about the pursuits, His whispers of encouragements calm me and make everything worthwhile.  

There was one day, I got to talk to some family members, friends of family members,  and my own friends who have told me to not register the business, to perfect the products first, to create different kinds of products, and basically to do something else.  I was actually thinking of cancelling all the meetings I had for the whole week and to reschedule them again when I feel more confident of this endeavor.  During my prayer time, through His still small voice, He reminded me of what I learned that Sunday, “Walk by faith in My word first.  Your emotions will follow.”

Three times in the past two weeks, God has allowed me to dream of Mori Notes.  In one dream, my friend was telling me to go pursue Mori Notes because it will help the housewives.   In my second and third dreams, I had so much orders that it was overwhelming.  

Just a few days ago, I was asking God, should I really really pursue it or not.  I felt an assurance in my heart, that wherever I go, He is also there with me (Psalm 139).

His whispers make me realize that I am still on the right track.  And as long as God is with me, I can walk through the deepest valley victoriously.

Whenever you receive a “No,” praise God!

Just this morning, I was asking God, why do I have to experience failures.  Why do I have to be turned down.  Here are some realizations:

1. A “No” may be God’s way of nudging you using His rod and telling you, “Don’t go there.”  Like a clueless sheep, I want to try anything and everything that comes my way, and that interests me.  But not all are beneficial.
2. Failure is very humbling and it can make you more dependent on God.  It makes you realize that you are no superwoman… you are actually a nobody.  When you get a “yes,” it’s not anymore dependent on your abilities, but God’s.
3. It allows you to appreciate, enjoy, glorify and be grateful towards God more when you get an unexpected blessing or a “yes.”
4. The bigger the failure, the more impossible the deliverance, the greater God’s glory is revealed.  Failure gives you a story to share that will bless others.
5. Failure adds strength to your character, determination to your pursuit, color to your story, wisdom to your decision making, and endurance to your greater trials ahead.
6. A failure is a test of faith in Christ.  Will your faith and vision of Him shake if you were shaken?  A suggestion from “A Woman of Influence” by Pam Farrel is to make an altar for God.  An altar is built to remind God's people, from generation to generation, God's great work.  Write a song or a poem.  Draw or paint.  Create crafts or sculptures.  Stone by stone, etch there truth about God’s character.  And whenever you get a “no,” look at your altar.  Praise God for God’s character never changes. 

Here’s a sample calligraphy altar I made of God:

 Even in the season of failure, praise God! :)

Mirror Mirror: The Snow White Legend Comes Alive (2012)

There's one movie I had been looking forward to watch ever since I stumbled upon its huge standees at SM Mall of Asia a month ago.  It's a modern day fantasy remake of the classic Disney tale "Snow White" where Julia Robert stars as the wicked stepmother and Lily Collins, the beautiful 23 year-old daughter of Phil Collins, as Snow White.

And so David and I were able to spare an hour and 45 minutes today for Mirror Mirror. (Yey!) 

Just a quick review.   Although it still resembles the basic story line of our favorite Disney story, there is a lot of comedic twists and surprising turns in the plot that makes it truly interesting.  

Like any other fairy-tale, it starts with "Once upon a time.." But this time it is the evil queen speaking.  For me, it's a nice new take but a bit cliche if we look at its contemporaries: Tangled (with Flynn Ryder's point of view) or Wicked (not that it's made a movie).

The cast played their roles very well.  It's refreshing to see a beautiful new face to play the princess.  Julia Roberts did good, as usual, as the queen and her eerie pale reflection.  As for the dwarves, I was hoping for them to portray more adorable, funny characters.  I was expecting them to keep the fun upbeat "hi-ho, hi-ho" personalities.  But probably as professional bandits, they couldn't.  Each of the seven  still has apparently distinct personalities, but they're not named Bashful, Sleepy, etc.

As for the plot, I appreciated the new scenes added in Mirror Mirror, one example would be the potion Queen (Julia Roberts) had Prince Alcott (Armie Hammer) drink.  I find it witty when she later learns that the potion that turns him into a barking prince who can't get enough of her is the "puppy love" potion.

It's quite obvious that the objective of the movie is to defy the classic tale, to be new and unexpected.  True enough it is.  The spell is casted on the prince.  The princess saves the prince.  At the end, the princess saves the day.  Somehow, being too unpredictable becomes predictable.

But despite that, it was still fun to see how the Snow White legend comes alive.

CONFESSIONS OF A VALENTINOPHOBIC

Valentines Day: You either love it or you hate it.  Well, I am part of the half who do not love it at all.  It is one cheesy day I am obliged to undergo, just because the world has labelled this pitiful day as "the day of hearts" and painted it all red.

A few days ago, I asked David, "Can we not do anything on Valentines Day?"  I was just cringing at the thought of celebrating "love" with all the other couples in the world.  Giving love is good.  Talking about love is cheesy; and celebrating love?  ('_')

So anyway, he told me he'd plan about it and just surprise me.  Since I didn't want to discourage him, and I enjoy surprises a bit, I let out a plain "okay" and a little smile.

He told me to dress comfortably, and to be  ready by 9:00am.  Great, I thought, we won't be joining the majority of the statistics who will be celebrating in the evening.  When Valentines Day came, I did as he instructed.  He then told me to close my eyes because where we were going was a secret.  After a whole cycle of Disney songs in the CD player, a number of curious "where are we going," and a couple of detours, we finally reached our first destination for the day.



THE PARK
David knows how much I love nature.  Nature reminds me of how joyful and fruitful life can be even in utter simplicity.  The flowers seated in a bed of soil did nothing to gain beautiful red and orange hues on their petals.  The cactus did nothing to earn strong and sturdy thorns to protect itself.  The spider did nothing to make its spiderweb as strong as iron when wrapped thickly.  The trees simply stood its ground, and leaves and fruits started to bud.  All these remind me how God creates each being thoughtfully, preserves each life and enables it to grow.  Man complicates things so much that sometimes I just thirst for a sweet escape to nature.

Today, David brought me to a park, a few minutes away from the business district in Pasig City.  It showcased nature of all sorts.  Trees that bear mangoes and makopas.  Dry plants that prick.  Monkeys that play on tire swings.  Sheep and goats sauntering in lines.  Birds of various colors in their giant cages.  Sleeping snakes.

The walk was very much pleasurable.  For one, it was not a popular dating site for couples, so it was easy for me to forget that today's Valentines Day.   And, I felt like I literally just had a date with David and God today. The place was so conducive for relaxation, for long talks, for a thanksgiving walk and for worship.  Try it next time.


CASITA XOCOLAT
I'm so glad that David also knows my taste in food.  Since I see life as an adventure, eating must also undergo a certain exciting journey of discovery.  So more than hotel buffets, I'd rather dine in an unexpected hole-in-the-wall, quirky place that serves unbelievably good food.

That's exactly what we had today in Casita Xocolat.  When we reached the place, I was instantly attracted to its warm, airy, country feel.  Some wooden tables are hand-painted in bright green and orange, while the other tables are decorated with colorful pebbles.  The walls are adorned with oil paintings and wooden crafts.  The adorable Casita Xocolat can accommodate around 25 people.

We tried their specialty, the Xoco Lava (Php 145), and I loved it!  Just a little sip of its earthy, quite Hispanic, chocolate with vanilla ice cream, my craving for chocolates was instantly satisfied.  I ordered the Pork Belly (Php 185), while David the Xocolat Chicken Pasta (Php 195).  I opted the pork because of the cacao-bagoong sauce -- chocolate + gata (coconut milk) + bagoong (shrimp paste).  I've been craving for bagoong for the longest time, so yipeediyey, I have had it today!

The pasta was tossed in cream with white mushrooms.  What made it unique was the chicken toppings. The chicken was drenched in, believe it or not, chocolate! But sadly, what we had for today was quite stiff.  I think it would be better if it was not overcooked and if it was kicked up with a little spice.

Minus the detail that it is Valentine's Day, today is simply perfect.


Learnings of and for Valentinophobics:

1. Have a date from early in the morning until lunch time only.

2. Visit places that are not crowd favorites.  Since Filipinos are usually mall-goers, veer away from those sites today.

3. Discover hidden places.  Try new cuisines.  Celebrate Valentine's Day not only for the sake of love, but celebrate the new adventures today with your love.

4. Forget that today is Valentine's Day.  Simply thank the Lord for giving you a new day.

5. It's okay to reschedule your Valentine's Day, just so you won't go along with the crowd.. and flowers may be cheaper too.

6. Get to know your partner, and surprise him.  Making him happy for a day is a nice project to do.  And vice versa.

7. Treat this as a Thanksgiving Day.  Thank God for the loving relationships (for your comfort) and challenging relationships (for your character and salvation) He has blessed you with.

Happy Valentine(ophibic)'s Day! :)

The Story of the PurseBook

Let me share with you the story of the Pursebook.  The story can be summed up in one simple equation:
Pursebook = 2 Passons + 1 Burden

It all started during my soul-searching days two and a half years ago... when I had left the corporate world in search of my purpose in life.  It was during that era when I discovered that what had kept me from boredom was creating products out of whatever I see in my room.  Sometimes I would turn plastics bags into journal covers, other times I would chop a shampoo bottle in half and sew some folded scratch paper sheets in it.  I preferred doing that over watching TV.  People would tell me, "ang tiyaga mo naman!" ("you are so persevering!") But knowing the Sanguine in me, I am not really as persevering as I hope to be.

Hence, these two passions were born and recognized: (1) creating unique and functional items, and (2) recycling.

One event late last year probably also contributed much to this story.  One of our maids, who was in her early 20's, suffered from a severe complicated case of dengue and passed away.  She was young and beautiful.  She was sweet and a bit quiet.  She was away from her family, with no one to care for her, except strangers.  This ignited a burden in my heart to help people in her situation, be it financially, mentally, spiritually or emotionally.

It's really sad, if you can just try to put yourself in their shoes.  You leave your loving parents or even your very young baby just so you can earn way below minimum wage.  You let go of your dreams to become a teacher or a lawyer, since you cannot escape the poverty eating your family up. If you don't work, there won't be food on the table.  When you leave your family, there's also a possibility that your husband or boyfriend may become unfaithful, and you can do nothing in the big house you are in, but cry.   Imagine that.

From then on, I usually ask our maids what they want to become.  I was overly ecstatic when I discovered that one of our kasambahay named Faye loves to sew.  To quote her words, "Gusto ko maging mananahi."("I want to become a seamstress.")  Little did I know, the eureka moment was just around the corner!

I asked her if she would like to try sew some journals.  With a big smile, she said, "Sure!"

And so we created the Pursebook!  The Pursebook is a stylish innovation that blends the function of a notebook and the function of a purse together.  It has a generous amount of pages (196 in total) and a compartment where you can place your pens, scissors, rulers, money and even your cellphone in.  The pursebook is made from recycled jeans and recycled papers.

Here are some of our works:

If you would like to help some women financially, you may:

(1) Order these pursebooks for just Php290.00 (or $8 as a starting price).
(2) Allow me to teach your maids how to do these purse books and I would pay them for their work.
(3) Spread the word by sharing this link to as many friends as possible.


You may email me at mitziuy@gmail.com or reply on the comment section below.  Come and let's start a Purse Book revolution!



God bless you!

Getting to Know You: Fun and Friendly Psychological Tests

One of the things that I love to read and talk about is Psychology: the art and science of studying human behavior.  It's very interesting if you come to think of it.   You can easily observe how people who tend to be very goal-oriented can be very insensitive towards other people's feelings.. those who are perfectionist can be very depressed.. and others who are warm-hearted can be very forgetful.  Different people definitely have their respective strengths and weaknesses, and knowing about these allow us to understand, accept and celebrate other beings as well as our own.

I remember being someone who was obsessed enjoyed assessing people and even myself based on Psychological frameworks. There is the left-brained vs. right-brained concept.  Where they say, left brained people are more logical, analytical, mathematical, etc.  Right brained ones are more artistic, creative, flexible, etc.  I took a test when I was in 1st year college and landed equal on both sides.  I thought it was a confirmation that I had a Bipolar Disorder. :P  Years later, I discovered that I was in fact a right-brained person.  And just two days ago, I learnt that right-brained people think better when they're lying down than when they're seated up.  Anyway, want to take the test?

From analyzing two personality types, I shifted to the four temperaments: Sanguine, Choleric, Melancholic and Phlegmatic.  It all started early on in my relationship with David, when  I was very frustrated with too many of our differences.  I was very much a people-person and he the opposite.  I was very much on-the go, and again, he the opposite.  And so when I went into a bookstore and stumbled upon a book titled "Understand Your Man" by Tim La Haye, I instantly bought a copy.

After I discovered that I am in fact a Sanguine Choleric, I was quite disappointed because I wanted to be a little bit more perfectionistic, analytical and introverted.  Then I realized, merely thinking about that, I was already coveting!  Later on, God taught me two things:

(1)  God has created me fearfully and wonderfully.  Thus, He has wired my personality, strengths and weaknesses, quirks, gifts and passions in a particular way.  I can use actually my being talkative and cheerful in writing and speaking to inspire people to do something great and beautiful for the Lord.  My forgetfulness as a Sanguine allows me to keep the rumors from spreading and to forgive people more easily.

(2) I need not limit myself to the boxes above (particularly to the Sanguine and Choleric boxes).  These boxes can serve as a guidance, but is not a complete image of reality.  If we were to follow this framework completely, then the world would be a very boring place.. because there would only be about 4 to 16 types of people!

Now, just a few days ago, I again shifted from the four temperaments to the 16 Myers Briggs Type Indicator.  I had been asking my mom, dad, friends, business partners and any other people I catch online to take a four-question test to know their MBTI type.  And visit www.personalitypage.com/ENFP.html if you would like to read your results.  Change the four letter word to your respective type.

I discovered that I am an ENFP (The Inspirer) or an INFP (The Idealist -- when I'm feeling introvert).  The explanations are quite accurate.  I learned that:

(1) As an INFP, words are my bestfriend! Indeed, I feel comfortable, giddy, and excited when faced with a piece of paper and a pen, or a keyboard with a clicking cursor and a monitor.

(2) As an ENFP, it is true that I have quite a broad range of interest and that I find it extremely difficult to choose just one, making me feel directionless.  But the test result was an encouragement when it says, "ENFPs are always consistent in their value systems," making me realize that what brings me forward really are my values, philosophy and beliefs.

Why don't you try it?  There's no harm in doing so.  The results won't tell you who you exactly are, so don't limit yourself to what it says.  But it can somehow open your eyes to a "yes, that's me!" (like a Eureka! moment) information about yourself.  May this encourage you to further discover and appreciate the gifts God has prepared for you --especially those wired within you- and use them for His glory.

~ o ~

One Lovers' Quarrel

If you are using Yahoo Messenger, you have probably seen the red "angry" emoticon with wisps of smoke coming from its ears.  Well, I could pass as its live version last night.  Not only did I feel smoke blowing out of my ears, I could also feel it pushing out from my nose.

You see David and I had to meet some friends by 7:00pm.  He told me he'd be leaving the house before six to pick me up.  So by 6pm, I was fully packed and ready to go... only to find that I'd be sitting and wasting my time away in the next hour and fifteen minutes.

When he had arrived, I was fuming.  I closed the door, locked the car, and remained silent for some excruciating number minutes.  He apologized, "I'm sorry that I was late.  It's because I had to think through and plan..."  I was still fuming; I could feel smoke puffing out of my face.

"Are you going to treat me like this for the rest of the night?"  He was pertaining to my silent treatment. My silence meant yes.

I was thinking to myself, "Why did it take him so long?!" and.. "How could it take him that long?!"

A few stoplights later, the Lord started to convict me, "Don't you remember that earlier this week, you were also late for another meeting?"

Yes, I was late for 40 minutes, "But Lord, it was not my fault!  I didn't know it would take me two hours to enroll in school."

Then He seemed to reply right into my heart, "That is not the point Mitzi.  When you were late in that meeting, your teammates had shown you grace by pardoning you.  They even took time to share with you what you had missed.  Shouldn't you impart grace to David as well?  Shouldn't you forgive him just as how your teammates had forgiven you?  Shouldn't you forgive him, just as how I had forgiven you?"

"Okay, Lord. I get the point."

I then told David, "I forgive you."  It was indeed the Lord's work to take away my anger and replace it with forgiveness.  It was almost like in an instant.. way before we reached the meeting place.  I couldn't do that on my own.  Neither could I talk to myself and gain wisdom from an odd schizophrenic dialogue.  If it were up to me, and my sinful state, I'd probably remain angry a lot longer.

God helped me realize that my anger was out of proportion.  I was like the unmerciful servant in Matthew 18:23-34.  This unmerciful servant was forgiven a debt of ten thousand talents (millions of dollars), but he was unwilling to forgive a fellow servant who owed him a hundred denarii (a few dollars).  I, like this servant, owe a BIG debt to God... I cannot pay off my debts, my sins, even if I were to live another lifetime.  Yet, through the blood Jesus Christ and in the name of Jesus Christ, He has forgiven me.. erased off my debts.. and even adopted me as His princess.  Shouldn't I be more than glad to impart His grace to other people as well?

Please forgive me, Father.  I thank You for your patience in teaching me.

 “If you forgive those who sin against you, your heavenly Father will forgive you. But if you refuse to forgive others, your Father will not forgive your sins." 

~ Matthew 6:14-15

Five Whispers of Satan to Writers

"We are not only forewarned, but we are also forearmed," I heard a preacher say.

What do we --believers in Christ-- have to be warned from and armed for? Isn't the Christian life supposed to be a great life since we have already been saved from sin? I guess not, the Christian life is a far cry from a walk in the park. Once we enter the Christian life, we all need to be forewarned and forearmed, because we are entering a battle in the spiritual realms.

All the mumu, the monsters, the demonic thoughts, the serpent, the exorcism, they are all real. This battle is definitely SERIOUS because Satan and the demons are real. That's why as Paul says in Ephesians 6, we need to wear the full armor of God daily.

"How can you fight the enemy if you don't know your enemy and if you are not even aware of your weapons?" The preacher continued with his preaching, "There are two mistakes we make against the enemy:

a. We magnify him.

b. We underestimate him."

We should acknowledge that Satan is a powerful being, but he can be overcome in Jesus' name!

My quiet time today brought me to the wilderness where Jesus was tempted. Satan is indeed the most cruel and cunning creature in the whole universe. Talk about provoking Jesus when he was at his hungriest, thirstiest and perhaps physically weakest point in time.. right on his 40th day of fasting.

Satan did not think of giving up. He touched on the physical need of Jesus by tempting him to use his powers and turn the stones into bread. When Jesus declined with a powerful verse, Satan shifted to the human's emotional need for security by suggesting that Jesus jump off the mountain and have God the Father save him. Again, Jesus who was well-versed with the Scripture responded well. Satan persevered and banked on the human's psychological need for achievement and esteem, when he asked Jesus to bow before him and he would give Jesus all the kingdoms under his rule. Jesus sited from Scripture, "Worship the Lord your God, and serve Him only."

What beautiful ways to shut Satan up, don't you think? This made me reflect.. what are my needs? What thoughts have Satan been feeding me? What are he tempting me to do? What can I do to rebut him?

There are several ways Satan is tempting me as a writer. I started writing last year with a message in mind. I just wanted (and still want to) tell the world about my God. But Satan has been playing a very big role in distracting me.

Let me share with you FIVE whispers of Satan (based on my experience as a writer) that can pull you from obeying God, as well as FIVE biblical comebacks (BC) lifted from the Bible to resist Satan.

1. "You are not a good writer. There are a lot of better writers than you." This can pull you back to your shell, blur your faith in God, and make you feel incapable and ineffective in doing God's work.

Biblical Comeback (BC): "Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us." (Ephesians 3:20)

2. "Why write? Nobody reads Christian literature much." Satan is so good in discouraging us from letting other people know about God. Tsk. Tsk.

BC: "But my child, let me give you some final advice: Be careful, for writing books is endless, and much story wears you out." (Ecclesiastes 12:12). It is not wrong to study about arts, culture, food, life, philosophies, etc. But because our time here is limited, it is better to prioritize lessons that would affect both life and eternity.

3. "Look at how many people read your piece. You are doing good!" The "you" here means you and not God is good. Satan here is feeding your needs for achievement and esteem.

BC: "As for me, may I never boast about anything except the cross of our Lord Jesus Christ." (Galatians 6:14)

4. "Avoid writing topics that can run so deep and touch some painful roots. Don't write honestly, people might not accept you."

BC: "Blessed are you when people hate you, when they exclude you and insult you and reject your name as evil, because of the Son of Man." (Luke 6:22)

5. "Why write? Writing won't feed you."

BC: "Look at the birds. They don’t plant or harvest or store food in barns, for your heavenly Father feeds them. And aren’t you far more valuable to him than they are?" (Matthew 5:26). I believe when God blesses you with a gift, and instill in you a passion, use it and do it no matter what it takes, because God has a purpose to be fulfilled through you.

Satan is moving about without you knowing it. He is real. He is cunning. He is fierce. So do keep yourselves armed everyday. Let your strength rest not on your own might and power, but on the Spirit of our magnificent, great God!

You have been warned! God bless you!