You see David and I had to meet some friends by 7:00pm. He told me he'd be leaving the house before six to pick me up. So by 6pm, I was fully packed and ready to go... only to find that I'd be sitting and wasting my time away in the next hour and fifteen minutes.
When he had arrived, I was fuming. I closed the door, locked the car, and remained silent for some excruciating number minutes. He apologized, "I'm sorry that I was late. It's because I had to think through and plan..." I was still fuming; I could feel smoke puffing out of my face.
"Are you going to treat me like this for the rest of the night?" He was pertaining to my silent treatment. My silence meant yes.
I was thinking to myself, "Why did it take him so long?!" and.. "How could it take him that long?!"
A few stoplights later, the Lord started to convict me, "Don't you remember that earlier this week, you were also late for another meeting?"
Yes, I was late for 40 minutes, "But Lord, it was not my fault! I didn't know it would take me two hours to enroll in school."
Then He seemed to reply right into my heart, "That is not the point Mitzi. When you were late in that meeting, your teammates had shown you grace by pardoning you. They even took time to share with you what you had missed. Shouldn't you impart grace to David as well? Shouldn't you forgive him just as how your teammates had forgiven you? Shouldn't you forgive him, just as how I had forgiven you?"
"Okay, Lord. I get the point."
I then told David, "I forgive you." It was indeed the Lord's work to take away my anger and replace it with forgiveness. It was almost like in an instant.. way before we reached the meeting place. I couldn't do that on my own. Neither could I talk to myself and gain wisdom from an odd schizophrenic dialogue. If it were up to me, and my sinful state, I'd probably remain angry a lot longer.
God helped me realize that my anger was out of proportion. I was like the unmerciful servant in Matthew 18:23-34. This unmerciful servant was forgiven a debt of ten thousand talents (millions of dollars), but he was unwilling to forgive a fellow servant who owed him a hundred denarii (a few dollars). I, like this servant, owe a BIG debt to God... I cannot pay off my debts, my sins, even if I were to live another lifetime. Yet, through the blood Jesus Christ and in the name of Jesus Christ, He has forgiven me.. erased off my debts.. and even adopted me as His princess. Shouldn't I be more than glad to impart His grace to other people as well?
Please forgive me, Father. I thank You for your patience in teaching me.
“If you forgive those who sin against you, your heavenly Father will forgive you. But if you refuse to forgive others, your Father will not forgive your sins."
~ Matthew 6:14-15