Monday, August 8, 2011

A Bowl of Wisdom: Being a Sanguine

I've complained to God a lot about whom He has made me to be. My weaknesses, well, they're too plenty to count. There's my gold-fish memory; I'm just uber forgetful. There's my inability to see through a plan.. my being disorganized (or differently organized sometimes), and also my un-persevering attitude. I really find it difficult to accept this Mitzi whom God has created. I wanted to have a different temperament. There were times I coveted my friends' temperaments. I wanted to be more goal-oriented like the choleric, more analytical like the melancholic and more organized like the phlegmatic. There was nothing I liked about my sanguinity. I thought I had the least of all temperaments.

Where was I again? Oh yeah, ranting. Anyway, I'll end it before I bore you to death. Have you ever felt like you are a worthless-somebody-with-no-strengths? Like you couldn't succeed in whatever you do because of your character failure? Like God has made you with some lose screws? And like all your friends have better and more promising character traits?

Once again, truth be told, you and I are not alone. I've met friends of different temperaments who are just as discontented with their personality make-up. My melancholic friend hates herself for thinking too much before going to sleep. My choleric friend has unknowingly caused some bruises in relationships. My phlegmatic friend, well, he just couldn't say "no" to people.

I'm writing this entry because recently, God has just been making me smile. He's teaching me, "Mitzi, embrace who you are. That's how I've made you to be." How? One way is God has been sending different people to confirm that my sanguinity can be a blessing. And I'm sharing this with you because you too should start to embrace who you are.

I've always been someone full of crazy ideas. I draw them in my idea notebook, sketch them on a sketch pad, play with them in my head, or just create them out of something like a shampoo bottle. What I used to see as a waste of time and energy is in fact a blessing that can be used for good. Recently, God has given me an opportunity and an outlet to use it. I just felt that when he was pointing me back to my sketchpad and pencil, that I had tucked away in years, He was leading me back to my first love. (God's indeed faithful and loving to give me my heart's desires during time of seeking.)

The "happy" disposition that I have, I also did not know could be a blessing. I thought it was just me being childlike and naive. Later I learned that the smile that I have has eased the pain of some people hurting around me. I never thought that something as small as a genuine smile could help comfort some wounds.

I'm still learning to embrace who I am, for this is part of growing in, of learning and of living God's purpose. Embrace who you are dear readers. Praise God for the strengths He has blessed you with and confess all the weaknesses you have been hiding within. Your anger, your bitterness, your fear, your doubts. These are all consequences of sin. Depend on His grace to cover you and sanctify you to a better, more Christ-like, you.

It's time to celebrate you, the person God has called you to be. You and I are called not to be a loser or a failure or a worry-wart or a mediocre. Embrace who you are and become more joyful and peaceful and thankful. Embrace who you are and let God bring out your fullest potential.

God bless! :)

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