Who God Is: My Provider

A year ago, there was a great number of days, weeks even, when I woke up feeling unrest and a little bit fearful. Let me swallow my pride a little bit more (hehe!), I admit that I was really worried about my future. You see, I was (and still am) in an exclusive courtship relationship with someone whose future financial capability is unlikely to support a family, our family (If we would end up together); specially if our family were to still enjoy the kind lifestlye that we have at the moment. I wondered if we would get to travel, to eat our favorite foods, to study, to buy books, to try out new activities, etc.

On one particular Sunday, I talked to God about all these, shed some tears, and gave Him the key to my future. I decided to step out of the boat, out of my comfort zone. Then, like Hezekiah and Gideon, there came a sign. I'm not sure if I was the one who asked for a sign, or if the Holy Spirit imprinted it on my heart. I myself was surprised when this became part of my prayer. "Okay, Lord, I know that if it is your will, you will provide. If it is your will, can you double the number of the people attending the cell group? Thank You."

It seemed like a very simple question at that time, but believe me, it was a very difficult task. During that time, I had been co-leading the group for 2 years and I had taken great effort to invite people to come on a Friday night. Since I couldn't ask them for their commitment, they came and went as they pleased. So I thought, 'If it's difficult to get hold of the old people, how much more the new people?' Doubling it was near impossible.

In a month's time, the number grew. People started to flock in until we reached more than twice the original size. We had the most number of attendees in years. Unlike before when I was busy creating activities, gimmicks and the like to generate people, this time, I did not do anything. It was definitely "not by might, nor by power, but by the Spirit of God" that people came and showed commitment. God provided and God indeed will provide. It was one of the many instances that my forgetful mind should remember whenever I feel fear and unrest, or whenever Satan attacks me with various thoughts.

Now, if you are still hesitating about God being the provider, think about this. Since God loves us so much that He was willing to send His beloved Son to die on the cross for our sins, wouldn't He be willing to give us all other things along with Jesus as well? God has everything in the palm of His hands; God has created every good thing that we see. He isn't there to hoard them all for His own use. He doesn't need them anyway. Knowing that God loves you and me, He will shower upon us what we need when we need it.

May we pray like how Jesus taught His disciples.. "to give us our daily bread." The wisdom behind it can be found in Solomon's proverbs, "But give me only my daily bread. Otherwise I may have too much and disown you and say, 'Who is the LORD?' Or I may become poor and steal, and so dishonor the name of my God." (Prov 30:8-9)

Feel free to pray this prayer and trust that my God, our God, will provide. :)